Before we left I grabbed a tiny bottle of Rye, Rum and Amaretto and headed out into the world. Odd, it was Canada day and I was going to watch the Greece-Czech game at Dan's. We played pool and I drank myself silly. By the end of our second game of "Drink Pool" I was sloshed. And then it was dinner time. Time to sit with Dan's family, eat steak and try to sober up a little, or at least try to concel it. (wicked supper by the by, that did sober me up). I love Dan's family! Can I be an Orton too? After steak sandwiches Dan's Dad (not Martin, Dan's Dad), Dan, Myself, Janita and Neil played some new fandangled way of playing pool where "Anybody Can Win!", as Dan's Dad proclaimed. Bull! He still won all but one game. Damn the kind of practice you get when you have a pool table in the basement.

After using Dan's last rolly before supper we knew we had to get some more. So off to Esso we went. A little jaunt down the street to buy rollies, smokes and water. Water.. very vital on Canada Day.. its normally very hot, and sticky. Anyhow, we arrived at the Esso, finished our cigarettes over stories if being drunk or stoned at work. Dan walked in the store ahead of me and nearly knocked me down as he turned to keep away from someone. "Terry" Dan exclaims. "ok". I dont know who Terry is, but i have a vague idea that it's the challenged man in the corner eating a huge hoagie!

Downtown was next. Still dipping into the Manx whiskey...... mmmmm....... can i say mmmm one more time? Mmmmmm. I drank it back and we were off. We got off the bus, headed to a pub on Sparks, had a beer, or two. I decided I wasn't going to pay for my liquor right now as I still had a bottle of Bacardi in my bag. SO i hopped over to a convenience store, grabbed a bottle of coke and Voila - instadrink. I nursed it for a bit, but i was sobering up. Too bad I am cheap. What i really wanted was a joint. That would have made me happy and little less sober. But all in all, so far so good. so far. So next, as we are leaving the bar dan decide's he is going to chug the reamainder of Janita's Rickard's Red. Bad idea... baaad idea. He then proceeded to (warning* puke scene ahead*) spew, while walking mind you (talented man), on the sidewalk. Followed by larger spews and ralphs as we headed toward the Portage bridge. He never once waivered or let the puke take him over. It looked to be quite a feat. But I couldnt bare to look behind me. The splash was gross enough.
And like the hand of God touched him, he was well again and ready to face a new beer.

We finally made our way to the bridge. It was a great spot for the fireworks. Not many people, comfy grass and a great view. The fireworks were very entertaining. Lots of pretty colours, bright lights, fireworks shaped as hearts and Saturn, and what seemed to be flaming balls of fire rushing toward us. "Neat".

And here is where the night turned sour; for me anyways.

The concensus was to head to a bar, any bar. We then headed east toward the byward market and into a sea of people. "Lets turn back, go to a bar on bank". Nope.. the idea was rejected like my big spoon. We hurdled on through the crowd and saw the fate of our choice. It was busy, and line-ups everywhere. Janita wanted to go dancing, Beth needed a bathroom, Dan wanted a drink, and I just wanted to find somewhere to hang out, hopefully free of crowds. It was clear we all had our own agendas. I contemplated speaking up but never did. I was not thirsty, I had my trusty pop bottle and a mini bottle of rum. I was content. I just wanted to set up camp at Major's Hill and smoke a few there. But the concensus was booze. Running beer! After trying to get into a couple of bars there the concensus was to head to Elgin. Jeez, back across the bloody city.

So we marched. Its all kind of blurry. I just remember wanting to get somewhere.

Along the way we met Joses and Brian who were very drunk indeed. I love Joses when hes drunk. Lots of fun, but grabby.

Unfortunatly, after all the walking and confusion any buzz I had had worn off by now. I need a joint or a drink, fast. The first bar we came to on Elgin was "Friday's". I can't describe this venue. I will try anyways.

It was dim, dim enough that you had to go right up to the walpaper to see the gaudy flowers. We sat at a long table with high backed chairs just acorss the way from a paino with a little asian man at the helm. He was singing. I couldn't make out the song but it was a butcher of something bad already. We were drinking over priced beer and trying to conceal the laugher. It was super-surreal and we decided to enjoy the crack this place was smoking. The singing continued, unfortunatly. Aparently it was some secret, exclusive, piano bar kareoke. They were terrible. Indescribably bad. It was most entertaining watching Brian try to contain his laughter and disgust for the place. He wanted out badly. So, after we left the surreal house we headed outside, down towards Brians, and after a quick stop for pizza it was dubie time again. About Bloody Time! We had been walking through hoards of people for days it seemed.

While chilling at Brian's watching some sweet South Park episodes we headed back out in to the world for yet another adventure. We didn't think it would get worse than Friday's, but we were wrong. We wound up at CP's. Why? It served alcohol and gave Janita the option to dance. We found a spot out back on the patio. Spacious and the option to smoke. However, not sober enough to imagine a large wall behind me. I just thank god it was all happening behind me.
"Sara, " Brian leaned over and whispered.
"Turn around." Why did i turn around!!?? I should have known better!!! Its kind of a blurry picture in my head (and thats ok) but I saw bums, and heard breathing, and saw more bums, and the moving of their bums. Too much bum! I saw all too much in the split second it took me to realize what was going on here. I couldn't believe it, there was manly gay love taking place right behind me. And it went on for quite some time. Again, we all tried to conceal our laughter, uncomfortable laughter. Well, the manly love didn't scare us away at this point. We were not going to find another bar. Plus I don't think Brian and Joses wanted to leave yet. I was content there. I had a drink, I was looking at the wall ahead of me, things were great! Brian said the funniest thing I ever heard him say. Janita had just come back from the pathetic dance floor she sat facing me, and therefore facing the tenderness behind me. She averted her eyes at every cost until i pointed out a seat right next to me. She gladly accepted. And Brian pipes up "As a homo-sexual man i can appreaciate these things!". I almost shat my pants laughing so hard. Brian doesn't say very much and when he does it brilliant.

The "Happy Canada Day Screw" behind us eventually stopped, and we were no shape, nor wanted, to go any where. Dan pleaded with the bartender for my drink I was very appreciative, I really wanted that drink. Although I didn't realize what time it was. It was after last call and no one wanted to leave yet. In fact we were such a happy celebratory bunch that someone thought they would come join the fun! A very drunk asian fellow had to ruin the rest of our magical night at CP's. After adjusting the chair 65 times in order to sit down with us he just glanced around the table buggeyed and drooling. He pointed to Beth and asked "Are you Rosie?".
"No," she said, becuase she wasn't Rosie. She was Beth. He then proceeded to ask "Are you the one with the big boobs? Rosie Big Boobalooba"
HAHAHAHAHhahahahaha
(but oh wait, my little children. It gets better)
You didn't want to look him in the eye, you could be next. I sure as hell didn't want to be Gertrude, the one with the ass. He didn't say too much. He just watched us laugh hysterically at him. Then you could then a moment of clarity in his face before he leaned in the told Dan exactly who he was.
"You know who you are?"
"No"... Dan figured he might get some enlightenment from this moment and goaded him on. I am sure we were all excited to know who Dan was.
"What? Who am I?"

After a slight pause, with his fore finger leading the way he shouted "Cruell-a DeVill-a!!"
My god, I'd never heard anything funnier. I thought I was going to pee my pants. The table erupted with laughter! And Drunko joined in mocking our laughter with hearty Ho-Ho-Ho's and when we stopped to watch him he stopped and asked "Was I suppose to do that?"

Damn.. just kept getting funnier and funnier. But this couldn't continue, not for much longer. Drunko then grabbed the glowy antlers from Joses head and hid them under the table. This was not good. They're were Sean's to begin with, and he wouldnt be happy about it. So, after we all tried to reach and grab at them until drunko flung them over the wall.

We hurried off immediatly after that.

Well, this began the ending of the evening. Most of us were terribly drunk. Un/fortunatly (not sure which) Janita had left early and missed Drunko. Joses and Brian were off and that left Cruella DeVilla, myself and Rosie Big Boobalooba. It was almost 3 when we got to the bus stop and proceeded to wait. We were not very concerned at the bus's absence and sang Vindaloo on the street corner to pass the time. After a good idea to check the schedule to see if the bus even comes this late we got a cab.
I always wanted to know what it would be like to be a cabby on one of the biggest drinking days of the year. I am sure there were more entertaining fares than us.

Although the festivities had ended, neither Dan nor I were sleepy. Everything was funny and we needed to fuel that. A single thought split between two people spawned the excited revelation that "OLD SCHOOL" was the movie that was needed to top the night off. But sadly, we laughed harder at ourselves remembering certain scenes than watching them. We lied there on the couch, broken, groggy and unable to move. But it was time to head to bed. The sun was rising on the craziest night I have had in a long long long long (you get the picture) time. I slowly pulled myself up out of the most comfortable seat in my apartment, turned the tv off, said good night to Cruella and past out!

Overall feeling about the night: Nutty, simply nutty. I have never had a better time. And probably never will again. (god that sounds sad, I am sure I will have a good time like that again). Now, back to work, back to life. Boourns.. boourns to life. To barnicles and bills, to cleaning and sobriety..... etc....